Raising a Grateful Child

An attitude of gratitude is an important character trait for everyone to have. No one is born knowing how to demonstrate gratitude. Gratitude is a learned skill that takes time, patience, and consistency to develop. Here are a few tips on how you can help your child develop an attitude of gratitude.

Demonstrate Your Attitude of Gratitude

Your child is always watching you and will mimic the behavior they see in you. Model the behaviors you want your child to imitate and reinforce those behaviors verbally. For instance, during meal-time when your child helps set the table at our school, we respond with “Thank you for helping me set the table for lunch. You did a great job!”

Use Those “Magic Words” Frequently

Please, thank you, you’re welcome – make these magic words a solid part of your family vocabulary. Your child is learning how to interact with others by how you interact with them and with others, so it is up to you to reinforce courtesy whenever the opportunity arises.

Ditch the Old Standby “How Was Your Day”

Everyone uses it. It’s generic and easy – and receives a generic answer. Instead, ask your child more specific question related to a grateful attitude like “What happened today that made you feel happy?” or “Did you do anything nice for others today?” The trick, if you can call it that, is to actively listen to your child and respond. When your child feels appreciated for the positive things they have done, they are more likely to repeat the behavior.

Promote ‘Eye Contact’ and Thank You’s

Kids love receiving presents and often tear through the wrapping without giving a second thought to who it came from. Encourage your child to make eye contact with the gift giver after each gift, say the name of the person and thank them for the gift. This extends to making purchases or receiving assistance. Show your child that courtesy extends to everyone by making eye contact with the cashier and thanking them for their assistance. Use the person’s name if it is visible.

Create Thank You Notes or Cards with Your Child

Your child may receive gifts from family members or friends who are not able to be physically present when your child opens them. Help your child express their gratitude by encouraging them to create and send a card or note of appreciation. For younger children, you can assist them by writing out the thank you then having the child color the page. As your child ages, they can begin to write their own thank you notes.

Give Back to Your Community

As adults, we know there are many out there who go without the things they need. Show your child that they can help by identifying volunteering activities that are safe for children to participate in or take them along to charity events.

Set Clear Expectations for Shopping Trips

Whether you are headed for groceries or are buying a gift, it’s a given that your child will want something from the trip. If your child doesn’t understand why you are at the store or what behavior you expect, you are likely setting yourself up for a huge meltdown. Instead, explain to your child in simple terms why you are at the store and what you will be getting. You can reinforce this by suggesting that your child take note of the things they would like for later purchases.

Consistency is Key

Developing and reinforcing specific behaviors in children can be frustrating. It will try your patience, but don’t give up just because your child doesn’t immediately develop an attitude of gratitude. A child’s mind is a developing mind, so with patience, persistence, and consistency, you will help you will be on the right path to raising a child with an attitude of gratitude.